SO I was reminded of two non-related strip club stories recently:
I don't frequent strip clubs much
but when I do it's a Dos Equis
what?
oh that's some of the most intersting man in the world there
by the way
I'm trying to become the second most interesting man in the world
anyway strip joints
I don't really like them
especially if you're single
that's like going to the zoo because you have no pets
so a few years ago I went to one in Victoria
I mean the ONLY one in Victoria
I was with a bunch of dudes
I was the first one at the bar
I ordered my drink and picked out a place to sit
while the guys were all still at the bar ordering
this place had nothing but chairs with wheels as feet on the floor
I guess it makes it easy for the girlies to move around for the pandering
well the chair I picked had a bad wheel
actually I almost fell because the back wheel slipped off and I tilted to the side a little
but I nimble like cat
so I stood up, put the wheel back on and moved the chair next to me
well all the guys come over and begin to sit down
I know you all know what happens now
so one guy comes and sits in the bad chair next to me
we all begin to talk while he sits down
he falls
ugly
all I see is him falling completely backwards
his drink spilling high and out
he actually lands on his neck
I didn't do that on purpose
so a few years later I'm at another strip joint
so we all go to sit down
well the chair I picked had a bad wheel
actually I almost fell because the front wheel slipped off and I tilted to the side a little
but I nimble like cat
so I stood up, put the wheel back on and moved the chair next to me
a little later (during lap dance time)
one of the whores comes over to me and asks if anyone is sitting in that chair
you know THAT chair
I say no
she takes it and wheels it over to the dude right next to me
it's her prop
we all watch her and she starts grinding on the chair
then she puts all her weight on it
stomach on the back of the chair
her hands on the arms of the chair
there she is
rocking like a hurricane
and she falls
hard
but she falls into the dude she's dancing for
I wondered if the guy even noticed
that idiot still threw 20 bucks at her way
and the dj makes the anouncement "Sid we have a nother dead stripper on the floor"
and on the way to the restroom I lean in on the mic and say "and I didn't do that on purpose"
