this one is not about me getting white girl drunk
so the other day I went to go see Robert Cray at Antones with my brother-in-law
great show
thanks for asking
while I was there I came across a sight I see quite often
I thought I'd make a few comments here
you see,
I'm an old soul when it comes to music
I like blues, soul, and r&b
and all that jazz
oh and jazz
I go to Clapton, BB King and Pink Floyd concerts
while I'm in the prime of my life
most of the fans that go to those type of shows are
how do I say this
aren't
so there are some older dudes that might take their kids
because there are some young peeps in the crowd
then there are the "ladies"
oh yeah!!!
the drunk white old ladies
I see them all the time at these shows
you know the ones that look like "a hot mess"
you can't tell who they're with
cause they're swaying and grinding in place
but no one will get up next to them
I have a couple of theories on these ladies
first is the "I haven't been home yet" lady
this is the one that is wearing the same outfit from work
you know that blue lady suit dress thing with a skirt
she has a drink after work and winds up at the Cray show
I bet she couldn't even name one Robert Cray song
actually neither could I
sorry Robert
then there's the "I live for this shit" lady
this is the one either knows Robert Cray or just loves Antones
or whatever venue she's at that night
she's the same age as the "I haven't been home yet" lady
but dresses like her daughter
actually I imagine she's home and right before her daughter comes home from school
she sneaks into her room and takes the trashiest outfit her daughter owns
mom probably bought it for her thinking "fuck yeah, I'll look hot in that at the Floyd show"
she changes on the spot and takes off for the pre-show to get her drink on
so now here I am in the back watching Robert Cray doing his thing
so now I see about 3 or 4 of them stacked in the crowd before me
there are 1 "I haven't been home yet" ladies
and 3 "I live for this shit" ladies
and of course there's a "I live for this shit" lady in front of me
this is my thought process:
"great an 'I live for this shit lady'"
"man, she's looking at me"
"Oh shit I bumped her head when I took a drink from my beer"
"oh no, she's turning around"
"she looks like a hot mess"
"she's saying she's sorry"
"she's squeezing my arm while applogizing"
"oh crap are you flexing, Vince?"
"Yeah, sorry it's a habit"
"stop it she's like 50"
"I know, I know I'm sorry"
meanwhile I'm missing this
then it cuts to the daughter going into her room
to see a dress suit skirt thingy on the floor
anyway, I ignore her and now I'm next to the "Who are you here with? No one man" man
he's the same age as the "I live for this shit" and "I haven't been home yet" ladies
and dresses like it
and has long hair
long grey hair
and loves Robert Cray
or blues
or just being out of the house
he starts to talk to me
at a concert
after a few minutes of bugging me
he sees the ladies
then says to me
"Now that's where I wanna be"
it was like a gross nature show
a "who are you here with? No one man" man woking his way into the crowd to dance with a "I haven't been home yet" and "I live for this shit" lady
anyway thanks Robert Cray, I love you!!!
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