The Problem with Power

So after Mania Paulie and I are at Walmart

I forget why

but we're in the toy aisle dickin around

I put on an Ironman mask (it's not unusual for me to put on a superhero's mask in Wally world)

Paulie snaps a few pics

I liked the mask so much I bought it

Paulie pointed out that I needed the Arc

you know that glowing thingy in Ironman's chest that keeps him alive

(out of all this crap, not pictured is the arc)

so I decided I was gonna pay for the mask and steal the arc

only thing is, it kept going off in my pocket

I figured if it went off when checking out I would pretend that it's my cell phone and answer it

yes, answer the arc

with a straight face hold it up to my face and say "hello?"

so fast foward a few days and I have the mask and arc in my truck

I'm picking Swagger up downtown

I put the mask behind me in the truck but I forget about the arc

Swagger gets in and a little bit later he hits the arc and it goes off

He asks, "What's that noise?"

he reaches down and picks up the arc

while driving I tell him, "I didn't want you to find out this way."

I reach behind me and pull out the mask

I slowly put it on and say, "I'm Ironman."

later we're going to a bar and I decide to wear the arc in

it's dead center on my chest

we walk in and both go to the bathroom

while pissing Swagger reaches over and hits the arc

it goes off

I slap his hand and say, "Hey! That thing's keeping me alive!"

we go up to the bar and I order my drink

the lady stares at the arc and then goes to make our drinks

when she comes back she reaches over the bar and touches the arc

I pull back and yell, "Hey! That's keeping me alive! What's with you people?"

she appologizes

now onto the pic

apparently a friend of a friend of Paulie's has taken a liking to this guy wearing an Ironman mask

she's a comic fan

and became smitten with this pic

she asked Paulie for a pic of me without the mask

Paulie called me to see what I thought about that

I told him, "What's wrong with you people? Do you not know the concept of a secret identity? She must not be that big of a comic fan!"

besides it'll never work

she'd only love the mask not the man

anyway I'm sure Batman gets hit on all the time too, but you don't see him taking off his cowl for every Tom, Dick, and Lucinda

but just to show you how good a sport I am, here's a pic of Paulie and me that same night sans mask