Uncle

5 away from 100

So I have two nephews

one's 15 the other is 10

and they think I'm the coolest thing

because when they were toddlers I would show up to visit pretty hung over

I would say hello then say ," ok Uncle Vinnie needs some space."

then I would find a nice corner and lie down

as they grew older they were more perceptive of the life that I lead

my sister told me they asked her, "Uncle Vinnie is bad right?"

as in a bad boy

I'm that cool uncle that kids around with them and lets them say curse words

well, this past weekend on top of the tough mudder event and Karaoke with Rube and Sharpie and Raw at Buffalo's I had promised to go see a movie with the kiddos

so I was staying at my sisters house Sunday after the BB King concert

I got there earlier in the afternoon to say hi

my two nephews met me in the hallway

I gave the youngest one,Matt a hug and was about to give the oldest one, Zach a side five but I accidently hit Matt in the face almost knocking his glasses off

I bent over to see if he was ok while Zach went through with the side five, slapping me across the face

this all happened in a blink of an eye

the youngest one, Matt said, "It's amazing what can happen in one second."

we looked like the three stooges

I told them, "Let's always say high like that."

"Uncle, Vinnie!" SLAP

so I leave my stuff and go to the BB concert

I had drank well over 100 dollars of local Vodka

I came staggering into my sis's house around 4 AM

I pass out in the guest bedroom and next thing I know I hear children whispering in the morning

I had forgotten that they said the movie was at 10 AM and they were up at 8 because of the drive to the theater

I was lying on my stomach and had my face in the pillow

I picked my head up and opened one eye

I actually tried to open both but only one would open

they were both standing there, "Good morning Uncle Vinnie!"

I felt like a dad on Christmas morning and my sons wanted me to wake up so they could open the gift

a single dad, cause I sleep alone

it's just me and the boys because the mom is a mess

she left us alone

all three of us

and for as bad as I am

I am trying hard to be a good dad

it's just sometimes I get into fights at BB King concerts, accidently join protests, sing at Korean Karaoke till 5 Am, and enter 12 mile 20 obstacle endurance races before I can take my boys to the movies

anyway, I get myself up and get cleaned up

for as hung over as I was I will not let these kiddos down

so we go to the movies

and I'm feeling weird

but I get a drink and sit down

so they show commercials during the pre show now at the movies

they showed this, the coolest commercial I've ever seen

with Willie covering Coldplay

all this for freaking Chipotle

enjoy


this actually made me feel better

thank you Willie

you're MY favorite uncle