Trust Me

Since I've been back in my hometown my drinking has calmed down quite a bit

matter of fact, I was sober for a whole two weeks recently

but I did go out last weekend

I went downtown

and like old times I left my truck there, got a ride with someone, and worried about picking my truck up later

I was notorious for doing this

I would just abandon my truck

so Sunday morning my folks wake me up and ask me where my truck is

I explain it's downtown

I get up and they take me downtown

meanwhile, I'm getting a lecture about what happened the last time I left it downtown

-The Last Time I Left My Truck Downtown-

actually, I didn't leave it downtown

I staged it

allow me to explain


I was drinking rather heavily one night

and horsing around with Mikey the Monster

I call him Monster because at work he would always hide and try to scare people

anyway, we got to wrestling in the front yard of my house

we were full of whisky and bad ideas

at some point, I was suplexed into the windshield of my truck

I completely shattered it

I started to freak out

man, how am I gonna explain this to my folks

so we started to scheme

I got it!

I told Monster, "We'll take my truck leave it downtown like I always do. And in the morning my folks will take me to pickup my truck and I'll just play dumb when they see the windshield."

so now there is a two man caravan, both driving drunk, and one with zero visibility, heading to downtown Victoria

we find a spot and Monster takes me home

the next morning my folks wake me up and ask me where my truck is

I already forgot what had happened and then told them it was downtown

so I get up and they take me downtown

meanwhile, I'm getting lectured about not leaving my truck behind

but I'm not listening

instead I'm thinking to myself, "do I see the broken windshield, or wait for them to. But what if they don't see it and just drive off. This would have been for nothing..."

it's at this point my mom screams, "Vinnie someone broke your windshield!"

my response, " whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

so we get out and inspect it

they both look it over and notice a huge rock on the hood

mom says, "Look this is what they used to break it."

it's at this point I remember that I picked up that rock and tried to finish off the windshield

and I left that little piece of evidence behind for show

wait there's more

later that night (this is completely true folks) we see on the local news that over the weekend someone went around breaking windshields of numerous cars left downtown

my mom says, "Ah Vinnie, they got you, that's what happend to your truck."

little do they know that I vandalized my own truck

to teach myself a lesson

don't ever cross myself

now, fast forward to my folks driving me to get my truck downtown this past Saturday

my mom telling me, "Remeber what happened last time."

I tell her, "Don't worry, I have a feeling my truck is gonna be just fine."