The Problem with Power

So after Mania Paulie and I are at Walmart

I forget why

but we're in the toy aisle dickin around

I put on an Ironman mask (it's not unusual for me to put on a superhero's mask in Wally world)

Paulie snaps a few pics

I liked the mask so much I bought it

Paulie pointed out that I needed the Arc

you know that glowing thingy in Ironman's chest that keeps him alive

(out of all this crap, not pictured is the arc)

so I decided I was gonna pay for the mask and steal the arc

only thing is, it kept going off in my pocket

I figured if it went off when checking out I would pretend that it's my cell phone and answer it

yes, answer the arc

with a straight face hold it up to my face and say "hello?"

so fast foward a few days and I have the mask and arc in my truck

I'm picking Swagger up downtown

I put the mask behind me in the truck but I forget about the arc

Swagger gets in and a little bit later he hits the arc and it goes off

He asks, "What's that noise?"

he reaches down and picks up the arc

while driving I tell him, "I didn't want you to find out this way."

I reach behind me and pull out the mask

I slowly put it on and say, "I'm Ironman."

later we're going to a bar and I decide to wear the arc in

it's dead center on my chest

we walk in and both go to the bathroom

while pissing Swagger reaches over and hits the arc

it goes off

I slap his hand and say, "Hey! That thing's keeping me alive!"

we go up to the bar and I order my drink

the lady stares at the arc and then goes to make our drinks

when she comes back she reaches over the bar and touches the arc

I pull back and yell, "Hey! That's keeping me alive! What's with you people?"

she appologizes

now onto the pic

apparently a friend of a friend of Paulie's has taken a liking to this guy wearing an Ironman mask

she's a comic fan

and became smitten with this pic

she asked Paulie for a pic of me without the mask

Paulie called me to see what I thought about that

I told him, "What's wrong with you people? Do you not know the concept of a secret identity? She must not be that big of a comic fan!"

besides it'll never work

she'd only love the mask not the man

anyway I'm sure Batman gets hit on all the time too, but you don't see him taking off his cowl for every Tom, Dick, and Lucinda

but just to show you how good a sport I am, here's a pic of Paulie and me that same night sans mask

What the World is Watching

Wow I haven't posted anything in a while

sorry bout that folks

but this one should more than make up for it

hope you don't have to go anywhere soon

so, for those of you that aren't in the know, this past week and a half was a little thing called "South by South West"

it's a film, music and interactive (tech) festival here in Austin, TX

the biggest portion of this thing is the music side

all of the world it seems like, gathers here in the Capitol city

the amount of bands that play here is beyond ridiculous

just to give you an idead this is a tiny fragment of the bands that played:

A-Trak,Abigail Washburn,Above All,AC and DELL,Aceyalone,Acrylics,Adai,Adam & Alma,Adam,Arcuragi & The Lupine Chorale Society,Adanowsky,Adebisi Shank,Admiral Fallow,Adrian Lux,Adrian Younge Sound Orchestra,Adventure,Afrojack,Agalloch,Agent Ribbons,AgesandAges,Agnes Obel,The Airborne Toxic Event,Aislyn,Akina Adderley & The Vintage Playboys,Albert,The Albertans,Alcoholic Faith Mission,Alessi's Ark,Alex Highton,Alex Khoury,Alex Koll,Alex Skolnick Trio,Alex Winston,Alexander,Alexis Foxe,All Tiny Creatures,Allie Moss,Allstar Tribute Jam for Gary Claxton,The Almost,Alpha Consumer,Alpha Rev,ALTAAR,AM & Shawn Lee,Amanda Shires,The Ambassador,Amber Asylum,Amber Digby & Midnight Flyer,Amen Dunes,American Fangs,American Music Club,American Scarecrows,The American Secrets,The Amity Affliction,Amplified Heat,Amusement Parks on Fire,Amy LaVere,Amy Schumer,Amy Speace,An Horse,An-Ten-Nae,Analog Rebellion,Anamanaguchi,Ancient Astronauts,Ancient VVisdom,And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead,Andrew Allen,Andrew Belle,Andrew Nafziger,Andreya Triana,Andy Clockwise,Andy Grammer,Andy McCluskey and Paul Humphreys of OMD,Andy Pratt,Anika (DJ Set),Animals as Leaders,Anna Nalick,ANR,The Answering Machine,The Antlers,Antonia Bennett,The Apache Relay,Apex Manor,Aphasia,Apollo 18,The Appleseed Cast,AraabMUZIK,Arabrot,Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti,Arms,Army Navy,Arson Anthem,Art vs Science,Artifacts,Asher Roth & Nottz,Asking Alexandria,Asobi Seksu,Astronautalis,Asura and Anenon,The Atlas Moth,Atomic Tom,Augustana,Austin Hartley-Leonard,Austra,Automatic Loveletter,The Autumn Defense,Ava Luna,Awesome Tapes from Africa,AWOLNATION,Azealia Banks

these are just the bands that start with A

the point of me posting that is to give you an idea how these bands take over the city

every corner is a venue

and the whole city is an audience

this year was the first time I participated in it

Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man - The Woman

This one's gonna be a quickie

So, I'm out with my brother last night

we hit up a couple of spots

during the last one I break away because I'm more hungry for food than booze

I hadn't eaten all day

so I sneak out while they're still in the club

I go and get me some street pizza

I walk around 6th street and lean against a wall eating my pizza

then I hear what sounds like someone dragging a cinder block against the pavement

but it's actually the voice of a woman sitting in a little window next to a bar

she says, "how come you ain't got no beads"

then I realize it's fat Tuesday and see that everyone is wearing beads

so I get off the wall and face her

she looks like she's made out of leather

she's holding a beer and is surrounded by beads that she's selling

so it's a booth not unlike a fireworks stand but instead she's selling beads

I look at her wares and say, "well I guess my luck just picked up."

and she did that laugh that was more of a cough and held up a fist full of beads and said, "5 dollars"

it's at this time that her co-worker Harley Davidson came around the corner to see what's up

somehow I took a mental picture and it actually manifested into a real one

so here is the macho Harley Davidson and the elusive Marlboro Man the Woman:

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Ok so I'm a little worried because you guys hyped this up too much

my bad

IT'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT!

so anyway, the weekend director took a job with CNN in Hotlanta

and my dear close personal friend, and biggest supporter at KEYE, Adrienne has been promoted to weekend director

so I'm going to take over Adrienne's Mon-Fri gig

so after all the headaches I put the station through, the fines, and the writeup I'm finally off on weekends

again

do you guys remember how much fun I had with my weekends off?

that means road trips, movies, concerts, stunts, no sleep Fridays, binders, PPV's

wait I do that anyway

but the bottom line is now I can do this crap on my own time without floating or crawling into work the next day

also with Adrienne gone that makes me the senior master control operator

My first speech to the new hires is gonna be "Don't worry, everything will be alright." (takes one last drag from the cig and flings it away)

A Series of Incidents

-THE ABBA INCIDENT-

So I was at a bar with my brother, Rube

it was karaoke night

my brother wanted to sing

we grabbed the book, and as usual it was taking forever to pick just the right one

while looking at the songs, my brother asked me," what about an Abba song?"

he wanted to do "Take a Chance on Me"

I'd be lying if I told you I didn't know Abba

and sorta know that song

after all I am his brother

actually not only have I heard that song

I was there back in the day that Erasure did a cover

so I reluctantly said yes

what the hell, I can sing back up and the words are on the screen

so as the night went on, my brother had signed up for a few songs before that one

so he and I went up there here and there

now came time for the Abba song

Talkin Sh*t/Big V Tv

ok so this is not Big V Tv

but I have been getting some righteous footage

the final product is gonna be nicely edited

with an opening, music, nice cuts and special effects

it's gonna be a stunner

after all

I am an editor

here's a clip

ha ha an 11 minute clip but a clip none the less

enjoy because the content in this video is so controversial I can't leave this post up for long

by the way check out the shirt

what's up?

For Texas

This past Monday, my cat Texas died

before I tell his story, I have a little back story first

when I was a boy, I had a cat named Sam

Sam got very sick

he stopped eating

we took him to the vet

the vet gave him a shot and a tube of gel that was loaded with calories

this was to feed to him since he was not eating

I did that when we got him home

but Sam shut down more and more daily

finally, he couldn't even move

he was just lying on his side

moaning in pain from the hunger

we didn't have the means to take him to the vet again

so we just let him die

he moaned throughout the whole night

my brother Rube and I stayed up with him until the very end

when he died he had such a painful look etched on his face

it was the most painful thing I've ever witnessed

Sam suffered until the very end

later it was clear he had feline leukemia

In the Summer of 1996 I made the big move from my parent's house to Austin

I was to move in with my brother Rube after living with my sister Elvia for a month

they were both huge helpers in that move

when I arrived at my brother's house I moved into one of the bedrooms

later in the evening I was in the room lying on the bed

I heard a small whimper

it was coming from under the bed

when I bent down and looked I saw a cat in the very back under the bed

he looked scared and wide eyed

I knew my brother had a black cat but I've never seen this one

I called out to him and he just stared at me

when I first saw him I thought he looked like Garfield

I went and asked my brother who that cat was under my bed

my brother said," oh that's Tex."

I asked my brother what the deal was with him

my brother goes on to tell me that Tex was bought at a pet store as a gift for a significant other

he was named Texas because he was kinda burnt orange like the University of Texas' colors

well because of a breakup Tex was left homeless

so he was left on Rube's doorstep

I asked,"how long has Tex been here?"

Rube told me a couple of days

I asked if Tex has been under the bed the whole time

my brother said yes

since Tex was bought as a kitten and was the only cat in an apartment he was very sheltered and knew nothing of the rest of the world

so I grabbed a bowl

poured some cat food in it and went into the room and shut the door

I put the bowl on the ground by the bed and sat on the floor

Tex slowly came out

he looked at me and meowed

then he went up to the food and ate it

when I got up to get the bowl Tex ran back under the bed

I went and filled the bowl with water and Tex drank it then went back under the bed

I went to sleep

the next morning I went and got the litter box and brought it into the room

Tex came out and used it

we repeated this later on in the day

only this time when I went to bed, Tex came out and jumped on the bed

and came over to me purring

and that's how we started

we would move here and there and all the time I would make sure Tex was ok

we got a little out of hand with the number of cats as the months passed by

the kittens liked Tex and he like them but the older cats would pick on Tex

one time they were all outside playing

Tex would never ask to go outside but he would stand and look out the window

I realized that Tex had never been outside before

so I left the door open and sat on the porch

Tex came out slowly

when he got to the grass he stared down at his paws

he had never felt grass before

after a while he would go outside with the rest of the cats

and I could stop supervising him

one night he came back dragging himself

he could not move his hind legs

he must have been grazed by a car

I didn't have the money to take him to the vet

so I just made sure he didn't move too much

so again I would bring him his food and water

only this time I would lift him up and put him in the litter box

and when he was done I would take him out and clean up after him

he made a full recovery eventually except his tail was bent and he could never lift it again

and he ran sideways now

one other time he made the mistake of getting too close to a momma cat and her kittens

she snapped and tore into Tex

I jumped in and got her of of him

he ran to my room and hid for a week

I cleaned his wounds and made sure he was ok

eventually it was time to move back home

I brought Tex with me

he and I both moved into the den

although I moved Tex many times for the 5 years I had him in Austin this would be his home for the rest of his life

and he loved it

a pet door for him to come and go as he pleases

a huge backyard

and my Mom was the next best thing to me because she loves animals

the only drawback is there is a huge field across the street and many cats have been killed crossing the street to go play and hunt over there

one night I saw Tex running across the street

he was coming from the field

I was horrified because not too many cats last long when they start doing that

but the best thing happened to Tex one night

he went to the field and got his ass kicked

he came back home cut up, scratched and his eyes were both shut

I took him in and mended all of those wounds

when he recovered he never went back over there

a few years ago I was in Houston helping Rube move

when I got back my mom had told me she had run over Tex

my heart stopped

I thought for sure she killed him

but she told me she got his tale

she split it right open

she took him to the vet and they cut it off

when I got home he was on my bed

with a nub for a tale

he meowed when he saw me

he opened the stitches and it got infected

we took him back to the vet and the doc cut the rest of it off

now he had an ever smaller nub

and he had to wear the animal cone of shame to stop him from popping the stitches

but he got over that too

it seems Tex had a hard life

but despite that he was a very happy cat

he absolutely loved people

if you've ever been to the den then you've seen Tex come running in

no doubt he jumped up on your lap

he was a lap cat

he loved the attention

despite all that happened to him

and plus he always had me

to help him through all of these little obstacles

even carrying him if necessary through the really tough ones

in December I noticed he looked a little sad

and he was having trouble eating

my Mom and I took him to the vet

they found a lump in his mouth

they cut it out

he looked good at first

but then he started to get much worse

he looked like he had the mumps on the side of the mouth where he had the surgery

and he was drooling and bleeding a little bit

and the smell from the drool was horrendous

and he had stopped eating

my Mom called me and I came down

she said that he had gone into the backyard and was unresponsive to them

so when I got there I went to see him

when he saw me he stood up and meowed

and he started to purr and lean into my hand when I pet him

I saw his swollen mouth and all the drool

I knew what I needed to do for Tex

my Mom had asked me to leave him outside because that drool was getting everywhere and smelling up the den

but that night I opened the door and called out to him

he came in and slept with me

on my chest for the whole night

the next day we took him to the vet and had him put to sleep

the vet confirmed that it was cancer

it was going to take over his whole mouth and suffocate him

if the cancer didn't kill him first

or the starvation

either way we got it early enough for him not to suffer

we went through a lot but we were not going to beat this last hurdle

but what I could do was save Tex from Sam's fate

my Mom broke down pretty bad when she was saying goodbye to Tex

I saw him still alert and alive

but in trouble

I said goodbye to my buddy and scratched his head

my last gift to him was a peaceful death

he just went to sleep

I got a lovely little poem with Tex's paw print on it

my Dad helped me bury him and told me Tex was a good cat and that he could see Tex loved me very much and that I was good to him

Dad even shed a little tear

Tex lived a full life

he was around 16 years old
goodbye Texas

I love you buddy, I'll never forget you