Tuna and Sharpie

this one is going to be an ever growing blog

I'll update it throughout the year

Some of the conversations Sharpie and I have are just too priceless

enjoy:

-Sharpie was in town one afternoon and wanted to meet for lunch

he wanted somewhere that served beer as well as food

these are texts

Sharpie: Tuna where do you want to meet for lunch
Tuna: What about Wendy's its right next to my job
Sharpie: Tuna, there's no beer at Wendy's
Tuna: oh that's right you wanted beer, well what about Pluckers
Sharpie: Let's do it

what ended up happening was we drank giant beers, I called in for the rest of the day, Sharpie called in for a play he was directing, he lied that his mother was sick or dying, we were there long enough to have two waiters, we joined a trivia bowl, we took applications and interviewed people to join the family, and our lunch lasted about 8 hours

next thing I know we both wake up in my little house hung over and exhausted

and generally miserable

Sharpie: "Maybe we should have gone to Wendy's."

-SO the night that Sharpie headbutted a car he jumped on my back piggyback style

I lost my balance and fell right on my face

dropping Sharpie on his face too

resulting in both our faces having strawberries and cuts

when the street crowd saw this they gasped

the next day we woke up at my brother's pad and watched the recording of monday night raw

two female wrestlers made their entrance

One female wrestler jumped on her partners' back piggyback stlye and they ran down the ramp

Sharpie" Look Tuna, that's what we tried to do."

Sharpie " Man, they mean it when they say don't try this at home."

-One night Sharpie and I went to a bar in a out of the way place

when we got there the parking lot was full

there was only one spot that was open but there was a wooden post on the ground

I could have driven over it

so I gave it a gentle test run

but then I stopped

Sharpie: "You can't get over it?"
Tuna: "Well, I'm worried that there's a nail in it or something and with our luck we'll get a flat way the hell out here."
Sharpie:"Well, get down and check it for nails."
Tuna: "No, cause if I get down and check it for nails then I'd be a wanker."
Sharpie: "Well I'll get down and see if I can move it. I'll be a wanker."(Sharpie opens the door and starts to get out)
Tuna: "In that case while you're there check it for nails."

-One Sunday I was helping Sharpie move in San Marcos

we were at his new place and unloading my truck

since we were going up a couple of flights of stairs I wanted to take as much as I could in one trip up

so I had a rather large box in my hands and was going to put a smaller one on top of it

I was gonna set my large box down on the tailgate but Sharpie was in the way

so I was waiting for him to get his box and move out of the way

Sharpie looked at me and I guess to him it looked like I was standing there with a large box in

my arms and just staring at a smaller one in the truck

Sharpie: "What are you doing?"
Tuna:" I'm gonna put that box on top of this one."
Sharpie:"Using the force?"

-The second time I went to Pluckers was when I visited Sharpie in San Marcos again

I was coming back from Victoria and I had Sharpie's wallet with me from a previous adventure

on the phone Sharpie told me to take a particular exit

the exit led right to a Pluckers

I texted him back and said" I see where this is going

next thing I know we wake up in his car at a construction site

a worker knocked on the window and told us we were blocking the 18 wheelers

Sharpie started the car and I got into the front seat (I had climbed in the back in the middle of the night I guess)

the worker who woke us up said," long night?"

Sharpie said, "yeah"

and we took off

- One other time I had to babysit my nephew in Kyle

that's about 40 minutes south of Austin and 15 minutes to San Marcos

so I call Sharpie and tell him I'll be in the area that night

so after I get off at 11 that night I stop off in San Marcos on my way to Kyle

since I was going to be a little late my sister is gonna leave me the key

I met up with Sharpie at a local bar

he orders us a couple of V-bulls

I hadn't had those in a while

the usual happens and I don't get to my sisters till about 3 am

my nephew wakes me up at 7am so there you go

it is never easy for me

while we were at the bar Sharpie saw a friend of his, B Sims

Sharpie says to me, " Tuna I'm gonna say hi to my friend B Sims."
I say, " Hey I'll go with you, I like B Sims"

so we head off and I go and give B Sims the biggest hug I've ever given anyone in my life

a few days later Sharpie and I are talking about how hard I hugged his friend

Sharpie said, " Damn Tuna, you hugged B Sims like you were hugging Grimmace at McDonalds

-Last story guys because now I live with Sharpie it's gonna be too hard to keep up with all the shit we do

So on our first night as roommates

Sharpie and I decided that we would do some laundry

we both had about two loads to do

the laundromat is right down the road from where we live

next to it is a bar called Lala's

its a Christmas themed bar

I had told this to Sharpie and he had a friend who said that bar is really cool

so he wanted to check it out while we did our laundry

we get in there and its just four old barflies sitting at the bar

Sharpie says "It must be ladies night"

so we drink a couple of pitchers

that goes on pretty smooth

then before long the bar starts getting busy

we then notice a string of elves hanging from the ceiling that moves up and down every once in a while

Sharpie and I wonder why that happens

I tell Sharpie I bet it's the men's room door that does that

so I get up and say," I'll go check."

I get to the men's room and see that the string is connected to the door and whenever it's opened the little elves bob up and down

I stay right there and look over at Sharpie and yell clear across the bar, "YEAH IT'S THE MENS ROOM DOOR THAT DOES THAT!"

everyone stops and stares at me

Sharpie cracks up because something like that happens on a tv show that he likes

we leave and go check on our clothes

on the way out I tell our waitress to save our seats

when we come back our seats are taken

I yell at our waitress, "you had ONE job!"

so something interesting happens

at first it's just older people in the bar

but then a bunch of young people come in

I wave at a young lady that came in the bar alone

she comes over to me and says "do I know you?"

I say "no."

I follow up with, "do you want to?"

that's a classic V line

she orders a drink and comes back over to us

she's waiting on her friends

so she joins me and Sharpie while she waits

after a while her friends show up and Sharpie and I join them

it's good times

we're all cracking wise and yucking it up

in the meantime the Laundromat closed on me and Sharpie

so I go check on the clothes and sure enough it's all dark and closed

so I'm drunk and my clothes are locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night

I then notice that someone had put a newspaper on the top of the door to keep it from locking

so I try the door and it opens

I go in and then the door shuts behind me locking

so now I'm locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night

but I found a door that opens

I prop the door open with a trash can and then leave to go get Sharpie

he comes with and we load two rolling baskets with our clothes and wheel them out to the car

the crowd we were with is outside smoking and laughing

i can imagine what that scene looked like

after a long while and too many pitchers later we call it a night

I'm supposed to be at work at 4 am and it's now 2:30 in the morning

I'm 45 minutes late for work

the next day I sleep as soon as I get off at noon

doing laundry sure is tough