I've been especially meaning to tell this story for the longest time
and I won't mention any names again to prevent incrimination
so yesterday I get a text asking if I want to go to the FUN FUN FUN FEst
I just got off of work and have not slept yet from my previous night with Paulie the Bull in Austin
so times are tight and arrangements are made for me to take a flask into this music fest
it's full of my favorite rum
I sneak it in and now we're drinking rum
then Heineken
and now we're smoking pot
and more Heineken
now shrooms
and then MGMT takes the stage
we had a nice view
hands down the coolest sight was
seeing a helicopter land during the performance
then I realized that it was landing at the hospital behind the stage
so someone was dying
to see MGMT ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha ha ha ah aha ha ah a
no seriously though they were dying
anyway we were there all afternoon til the early evening
then it was over
the company I was with wanted to go out afterwards but wanted to go home to change
I was talked in to going with despite my initial protest
while at the house I was handed a second flask
larger than the first one I was carrying
I put it in another pocket on me
later, now that they were changed, we hit the road
they're smoking a blunt in the car
we're waiting to turn right onto 35 and yeilding when WHAM!!!!
we're rear ended
actually after the impact I say "...and we just got rear ended."
then the guy swerves around us and hauls ass
the driver of the car I'm in hauls ass after him
the passenger is yelling at him to stop driving so crazy
we're swerving through traffic to match the hit and runner
the guy cuts a car off and exits the highway
I calmly reach over and fasten my seat belt
they ask me if I can see the license plate
without trying to see I say no as I click the safety belt in
we exit and are still hauling ass to catch the guy
after a little bit of a chase we catch him and he gives up
but this cat has no license,insurance, or clue
so they call the cops
now just a few days ago while on the phone with the folks I had a conversation that went like this:
Me:Hi mom how's it going?
Mom: Good, we're good. YOu got a warrant for your arrest in the mail.
Me: Really, where's this one from?
Mom: San MArcos
Me: oh cool, how are my cats?
Mom: Good, they're spoiled
we go on with conversation
now back to the accident
we call the cops
and they show up
they fill out a report and I'm told I became one with the back seat
I said I used the ancient art of one John Cena's "U can't See ME"
I can imagine if they asked me to step out of the car
and asked if I have any drugs on me
I would have to say "No, but I have a couple of flasks."
"this one's empty but this one's ret to go!"
but they never saw me
Thanks Cena!
when handing the report back to the driver one of the three cops says," here you go just mail this in within 10 days...........let me ask you a question.......when was the last time you smoked pot."
"ahhhhhh fock!!!!!!!"
that's my thought
the cop goes on to say, "I can smell it, I don't mind if you do it just do it at home and don't drive. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt...I'll give you a freebee, go home boys and stay out of trouble."
we take off on this free pass
this whole process takes about an hour
we go home
only to switch cars
in case they're tailing us
then we head back out to start our night
at this time it turned midnight
on the night you set your clocks back an hour
so a free pass, a new car, and we got back the hour we lost?
for the first time ever I felt what it's like to die in a video game
then press continue
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