...and How was Your Halloween?

Howdy folks!

greetings from the Lone Star state

first off let me just say that Batman Arkham City is fucking BOSS!!!!!!!!

it is to video games what the Dark Knight was to movies

WALK do not Run to get this game...wait...scratch that...reverse it

anybody in the mood for a story?

good

STORIES FROM THE BIG K

so, it's the Saturday before Halloween

I had made plans to hang out with the love of my life, Kate the Great

but I had also planned to take my brother to the Haunted Zoo here in V-town

I had told Kate I'd be at her place around 8

I did not count on standing in line to get into this "haunted" zoo for over an hour and a half

so I didn't get to Kate's until around 10pm

Kate passed the time by killing a bottle and a half of wine

so when I got to her she was nice and loose

wait...bad choice of words

so we were going to Dodge city

it's right by Kate's apt

we walked to it

Kate was dressed as me this Halloween

allow me to explain

for reasons I'd rather not go into, I do not participate in Halloween

I think it's rather dumb

I don't wear a costume

instead I dress up

I always wear a nice buttoned down shirt and a black tie

and if it's nice out, I'll wear a nice jacket

that's what Kate was dressed as


here we are:

that's me on the right

ha, I kid...I kid

the thing is, not only was Kate dressed like me

she told me she was gonna match me drink for drink

and she did

all night she had a certain swagger about her

she def matched me drink for drink

she tossed the lime and straw away

and stirred her drink naturally like I do

then she leaned back, draped one arm over the back of the chair and sat with her legs spread

she sat deep in her chair in tribute to her costume

we kept the rounds coming

we were buying each other rounds

we never got out of order on the rounds and she never lagged behind

if I may pause here for a second

clearly, we picked the wrong place to hang out seeing as how there were about 15 people in this bar

I hear a bar downtown was the place to be

it was packed and the costumes were awesome

but you know what?

because we had the run of the place, we had a blast

the DJ was great

he had a high tolerance for us as did the wait staff

we were a whole party at one table

we did rum, shots, beer, dancing, karaoke, games

it was one hell of a night

towards the end Kate pulled the ultimate tribute to her costume

as she was lifting her glass to drink it slipped out

falling onto the table breaking the top part of the glass

she paused for just a second and looked at me

she then picked up the glass and held it up to the same height

then let it fall again on purpose this time

the glass hit the table and shattered this time

rum and ice and glass went everywhere

she winked at me

I almost fell out of my chair laughing

later, at the end of the bar night, Kate asked if I was finished with my drink

I answered yes

Kate lifted it up and then just let it drop

right on the table

it shattered right in front of my face

god, I love this broad

at the end of the night , she was the last one standing

still up and singing in the den

she did her costume proud

THE PROBLEM WITH JAKE

we were at Dodge City with Tyson and Aaron

these guys are good buddies and they love wrestling

Aaron was dressed as Jake the Snake

yes, this Jake the Snake

...well not this Jake

more like this Jake...

I like Aaron but I wouldn't say he's in his physical prime right now

judge for yourself...

I mean the likeness is uncanny

I was actually a little star struck

and frightened

current Jake is a bit down on his luck

his drinking and drug problems are legendary

where Kate channelled the Big V

Aaron kinda channelled JAke

it's the end of the evening and myself, Kate, and Tyson were in the den singing

Aaron was in the restroom

for a few songs

Tyson goes to check on his buddy

the den bathroom door is not that secure

there's a big crack on the side of the door and you can see in

he says Aaron is asleep on the toilet

Tyson starts to yell at Aaron to wake up

after a few minutes he says Aaron starts moving

he pulls his pants up

we are making progress

the whole time KAte and I are just singing not caring what's going on back there

finally, Aaron comes out

and sits down

Tyson informs him that they are leaving

and they do

Kate and I get another song ready and I go to the bathroom

and see that Aaron has left me his shit in my toilet

I tell this to Kate

that brings up the question

did he shit, then fall asleep?

or shit while asleep?

KAte tells me, "nobody shits in their sleep"

then we both say, "maybe he died."

and released his bowels

then I said, "oh man, he died like Elvis...while dressed like Jake."

in closing

here's a video from the night

it has some guy doing the best karaoke verson of Electic Avenue I've ever seen

enjoy and I'll see you at 100!!