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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Chinese Fire Not a Drill

You guys ever play Chinese Fire Drill?

ever heard of it?

the definition according to the Urban Dictionary is:The act of, upon reaching a stop light/sign, all the members of a vehicle bail out and dash laps around the car until the light changes or the other people around you get really pissed.

so I'm in Houston Tx earlier today

I promised I'd drive Paulie and his friend to the Hobby airport in H-town

Paulie is not too keen on driving in big cities

hey no sweat, I can't swim


so I'm driving Paulie who's driving a friend

anyway, Paulie starts the drive from Victoria

and he's getting a little too close to the city of Houston

he tells me I need to take over

so now he's looking for a place to pull over

a gas station, a rest stop

you know, all of the acceptable locations for a driver and passenger to swap seats

he exits the highway

and now we're on the feeder

Paulie still can't find a place to pull over

so he just starts to slow down on the feeder

he says "ok you ready to take over."

"this is as good place as any."

I just sit there stunned

"uhhhhhh"

at first I'm thinking, "ummm, yeeeaaaaah this could work I guess."


as he comes more to a complete stop

we're on a feeder in Houston freakin Texas and about to run a Chinese  freakin Fire Drill

I snap out of it and say, "wait...no!! This is a horrible place to do this."

he starts to laugh and speeds up as cars are zooming past us

 I tell him, "Damn, we almost did a fire drill for reals!"

He follows it up with, "nah, it wasn't a drill it was the real thing."

no shit man, good thing I've done the drill before cause I would have been shitting bricks during the real deal

just follow my training and hope for the best

his friend slept most of the way up there by the way

he had a 5pm flight but we dropped him off at 9 am so I can drive back to go to work

I wonder if he woke up during our Chinese fire not a drill would he have instinctively got out and ran around with us

I would have yelled at him, "man, this is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill!"

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