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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Road Trippin' Japanese Karaoke Singin' Fight Startin' Exploding Car drivin' Sons of Bitches

So this past weekend KAte the Great and I decided to hit the road

That was the end result




but before all that...

Our first stop, Austin TX

We drank the whole way up there

I was hung over as usual and was working on a good rum buzz in the car

we get to Sharpie's for some more drinking and laughs

we head out and hit up the flying saucer

Gentleman joins us there

a few pints here and there and then it's off to buy some beer for some late night karaoke

the same one in the Japanese late night BYOB district in the ATX we went to on my birthday/tough mudder weekend

when we walked in the manager remembered us

well, we drank and sang till four or so in the morning

then we grabbed our beer and headed off to Sharpie's pad

so we're at the front gate

now picture this,

Sharpie and Kate are in Kate's car

Gentleman and myself are right behind them in Gent's truck

it's taking a little bit for KAte to open the gate

and Sharpie has been know to forget the code to get in

at least he's given me the wrong one before and I can't get it to open

so a guy that's behind me and Gent pulls up and parks next to Kate at the gate

he presses his remote and the gate opens

Sharpie and myself both think that this dude just cut in line and was passing us all up to get in first

but, he was actually opening the gate for us

as Gent and I look on we see Sharpie roll down his window on the passenger side and start to cuss the guy out

the guy cusses right back and drives into the complex

Sharpie flips the guy off as he drives off

Gent and I just look at each other

so as all three of us are pulling into the complex the guy is first in line, followed by Kate and Sharp Edge, and finally me and the Gent

this dude lives in the same area as Sharpie's building

KAte sees this and when the dude parks Kate keeps driving and passes Sharpie's building

the dude gets out and is now waiting next to his car

he's waiting for more trouble

but Kate keeps driving

so do me and Gent

but I tell Gent to find a spot to park because the dude doesn't know that we're with Sharp and KAte

Kate has left the parking lot and the guy is still there waiting

so I come up with a plan

the only plan that someone that got drunk while having a hangover can come up with

I tell Gent," let's get down and stand off to the side like we're waiting for someone else."

"if the dude starts some shit with Sharp then we're in perfect position to jump the guy."

I was fully prepared to go to jail that night

I didn't have to be back at work till Tuesday

so we get off and head in the general direction of the guy

as we get closer the guy asks us, "is that your friends in that black car?"

I say no

we're waiting for someone else

the guy tells us

"I just hope that guy doesn't try to key my car tonight."

he wants to see where Sharpie lives in case he needs to call the police if his car is keyed

with that Gent and I stand off to the side and make small talk waiting for Kate to come back

she does in a few moments

apparently, she instructed Sharpie to get out of the car and go directly into his apartment and not start any shit

she was going to talk to the guy

they park and get out of the car

the guy is staring at them

when they park I ask him, "is this them?"

he tells me yes

he believes we don't know them

but there was never any chance of a fight because Sharpie took Kate's advice

Sharpie dropped a few f-you's on his way into his apartment but he went straight to his apartment

Kate went to talk to the guy

but she doesn't know I told the guy we didn't know them

and I thought I'd better let her know something before she blows me and Gent's cover

by calling out to us in front of the guy

so we walk over there and ask if everything is ok

I ask her if her friend is ok

Kate's face was priceless

she looked at me like, "what the fuck Tuna?"

but she didn't say anything

she keeps talking to the guy and assures him everything's gonna be ok

I wish her luck and say goodbye to her and the guy

the dude asks me my name while shaking my hand

I tell him Anthony

that's the first time I've used my middle name in 37 years

Kate walks to Sharp's apt and Gent and I walk to his truck

we wait for the dude to go into his building then we go to Sharp's building

when we get inside KAte asks me, "What the fuck was that Tuna?"

she thought I didn't want to get involved and pretend not to know her and Sharpie

I had to explain it was the exact opposite

well, it all ended well and no one got hurt

we finished off the night with more beer and everyone eventually trailed off to sleep

the next day we woke up and we had to hit the road again

next stop, Kerrville

at this point I would like to call attention to Kate's car

the whole trip it's been making funny noises

it sounds like two raptors fighting

she was a little worried about taking her car but nothing bad ever happens to us

so now we're passing through Fredericksburg on the way to Kerrville to visit brother Cyrus in a sober house

with a two day old hang over

I had on my giant shades the whole Cyrus visit

so now we're homeward bound via San Antone

it's at this point that the car is acting really funny

it's now pitch black outside and we're in between little towns and long highways

there's a loud pop from under the hood

we lose the power steering

we notice the car behind us is driving in fog but we are not

so the fog is coming from us

it's smoke

I tell Kate not to pull over

the we might not get the car started again and we do not want to be stranded out in the dark

her phone is dead and I aint got no service

so we make to Nixon

and pull into a gas sation

there is so much smoke coming from the hood

that a sheriff pulls in behind us

the fire department is called

and the gas station is told to turn off the pumps

it's the first time KAte and I stop in Nixon and the sheriff and fire department are called on us and the gas station has to turn off the pumps

they check the car

a mechanic checks it

the engine is cracked

Kate calls her dad and he comes to get us

this trip killed Kates car

we needed a new car to complete this trip

that's the first time that's happened to me

great trip

here's a little over a minute of some footage from the gas station

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