And Now A Story Full of Shit....

I love my job

with that said allow me to set sup this story

so, the other night a woman hit a bull on the highway

the bull's ass exploded onto the side of the car

that is, the side of the car was covered in shit

the way I described it was like this

have you ever farted accidentally when someone shoved you?

same principle

but on a larger scale


so the guy that cut the video is the live truck dude

he was given orders not to show any blood or guts from the bull

but one of the co-anchors wanted the shots of the shit

she kinda wrote the script around that fact

well, when the video ran live she was disappointed that none of the shit made it on the air

so after the newscast she comes over to me and says, "if you have time I need a favor from you."

she tells me, "Jerry cut this video but he didn't put any of the bull shit in, and I wrote the story around it."

"can you re-cut it and put more shit in it?"

me: "Yeah but I need his raw tape."

she calls him to ask him where his raw tape is

and tells him ,"Jerry, where's your raw tape, Vince is gonna re-cut your bull video, you didn't put any of the shit in."

I get the tape and am now re- editing it with Rissa (the co-anchor) over my shoulder

and I'm making good edits

like I'm working on award winning resume tape stuff  here

I was taking this shit serious

pun intended

on with the edits

more bull

more shit

she requests a particular edit

I tell her, well let me go past a little bit

take some of the shaking out of the shot

she tells me,"nice call, that looks good."

I tell her, "well, that's what I do." pause "now do you want more bull or more shit next"

and now here's the video

the first part is the way it originally aired and the second video is with 50% more bullshit