Has a Year Long Project

So I have a project I'm gonna work on for a whole year

I saw an advertisement for an event called Tough Mudder

it's a 10 mile course with 19 crazy obstacles

it's for the Wounded Warriors charity

and it looks like fun

it takes place Jan 29th and 30th

but I am in no shape to compete this year

so I'm volunteering and helping out

and getting a look at what I have to train for

I'm gonna train all year and Kate has volunteered to help me hone my swimming skills

which is a tough task since I have none

but I have to get ready for that diving event

which I never have done before in my life

I put together a "dream" team to go into this with me

Me Swagger and Duper

so far they said yes

actually this is how the two calls went that I made:

Duper: "Hey hey Vinnie."
Me: "Duper what kinda physical shape are you in?"

that cracked Duper up since I hadn't talk to him in a while then I call him up and just ask him that

next call

Swagger:" Tuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaa."
Me: "Swagger what are you doing January 2012?"

he cracked up as well

if I had it my way the Madnes would be in too

but he kinda does this stuff in his sleep

we'd probably get disqualified

anyway here's the map of the course and the obsticles

if anyone else wants in just drop me a line

now excuse me I have to go buuy another camera
http://toughmudder.com/events/texas-dallas/texas-course-map/

On 2010's Leaving...

I'll make this brief

but this was the year

it was a mix of keeping important people close to me and scraping off the ones that aren't

January started off with me getting on facebook

and it was all because of the return of a wrestling legend

You Know You're Drunk When You Can't Tell if You're Being Mugged...

Ok let's just jump right in on this one

so this Christmas I will be at KEYE for two years

there will not be a third

I am not a master control operator

I don't know what I am but it's not that

I've been scanning craigslist for jobs

and I came across this one: A Pub Quiz Host

I would host the quiz, interact with the crowd, tell a few jokes, take pictures of the night, and blog about it the next day

and the beer is free

I might be over qualified

Letters From Mexico

Howdy from Mejico

also known as North Lamar

so I've had some strange encounters from the locals around here

I thought I'd jot a few of them down

first of all everyone speaks Spanish over here

even the Indians that work in the convience stores

and Target

and of course they all assume I do as well

of course I don't

we never learned

my mom told me when I asked her why we don't speak Spanish she said it creeped her out to hear children speaking Spanish

plus we'd never need it

so now everywhere I go in my "hood" I have to close my lips tight and shake my head at people who talk to me in Spanish

I was unloading my laundry one day and some vaquero next to me was trying to ask me why his clothes weren't dry

or to call 911

I can't tell

I don't speak spanish

And Now A Message to the World...

not to scare anyone off or anything, but the site I use to blog has added a stat tracker

now I can't see who you are but I can see where my readers are from

the US is bunched together so I can't see individual cities

and I do have some brothers and sisters overseas serving

so I wasn't surprised to see those places show up

I was surprised to see other places like the UK, Denmark, Canada, and Russia listed as some places that have read my blogs

I really don't know what to say

I have no idea what those people think of these posts and of me

I can tell you, for just a little ol Texas boy I'm flattered and I hope you guys stick around to hear more stories

I must apologize though, because I can't give you deep thought provoking posts that break down social, political, economical, or religious barriers in the world

I can't change the world or inspire individuals to stand up and become better humans to shape our planet for a better tomorrow

I can however,hopefully, make you laugh

and I can give you the truth

full blown, uncensored truth

you see I'm the kind of person that doesn't hide behind doors and guard my reputation

I like to give the world an honest view of me as a person complete with all of my flaws, vices, and mistakes

these stories are all true and I usually have one or two witnesses that can vouch for everything I write (some may not want to however ha ha)

to quote a very eloquent speaker, the Macho Man Randy Savage "I've soared with the eagles and slithered with the snakes. And been everywhere in between."

me personally I like to take you guys along for the ride

So my message to the world:
"Hello! Welcome! Make yourself at home, grab a drink, drop me a line sometime, oh and leave the lights on when you leave, this place never closes."

-V-

IV-Booze, Drugs, Cops, oh and MGMT

I've been especially meaning to tell this story for the longest time

and I won't mention any names again to prevent incrimination

so yesterday I get a text asking if I want to go to the FUN FUN FUN FEst

I just got off of work and have not slept yet from my previous night with Paulie the Bull in Austin

so times are tight and arrangements are made for me to take a flask into this music fest

it's full of my favorite rum

I sneak it in and now we're drinking rum

then Heineken

and now we're smoking pot

and more Heineken

now shrooms

and then MGMT takes the stage

III-Drunk, Drugged, and Naked

I have to admit, I kinda like telling some stories I swore I would never tell

so Let's go back to the Summer

and for the benefit of the innocent I won't give out any names on this one

while at work one day, a commercial came out for a swimming pool company

It showed a particular pool at an apartment complex

that pool looked familiar

while watching the commercial I got really quiet while watching it

my co-worker asked me

"are you ok Vince?"

I said,"um..yeah...I think I've been to that pool."

at this time, a memory came flooding over me at that instant

during the summer I was invited to a pool party

but I wasn't told it was a pool party

side note here: if you've ever seen me in shorts consider yourself a dear close personal friend of mine

I NEVER wear shorts

but i do own a pair or two and if told that it was a pool party I would have dressed accordingly

but I didn't

and while everyone was frolicking in the pool I was sitting poolside drinking beer

since I wasn't swimming I was drinking a lot of beer

then it was time to go inside for the BBQ

while inside I continued to drink and not eat

then a crazy roommate comes in full of piss, vinegar,and pills

everyone at this point has been drinking beer and smoking pot

including me which is very rare

at one point this skinny raver roommate starts asking people if they want some Zanax

some people say yes and others decline

the ones that decline he threw a tab into their beer anyway

with or without their knowledge

he did this to everyone but me

so we mingle some more

later I tell him,"you drugged everyone at this party except me."

he says, "My bad, you looked like you were having a good time without this."

I told him, "well I don't want to be rude, hook a brother up."

so he takes a tab and throws it in my beer

it foams and I drink it fast

and after a few minutes I'm under the influence of everything

and I start to get upset that I got left out of the swimming part of the pool party

so I suggest that we all go back down to the pool

except I ask the raver if he has a pair of trunks I could borrow

he does and I change

I'm wearing my original shirt and his trunks

boxers, jeans, socks and shoes stay at the apartment

we go down to the pool and I get some impromtu swimming lessons

I can kinda survive in the water now but under everything I did that night I'm surprised I wasn't swimming on the concrete thinking I was doing a good job

anyway at one point everyone leaves the pool and goes back upstairs

I'm now swimming alone and think I've had enough

so I get out and for some reason I take my shirt and shorts off and wrap a towel around me

except for the towel I'm only wearing a smile and some bloodshot eyes

when trying to leave the pool I remember that the girl that lived there had trouble opening the gate to the pool

so I couldn't be bothered with it

I've been known to do a mean flip over trucks, walls, gates, fences, and people

but I'm not usually in this condition whenever I do that

so I flip over the gate and I land ugly

the ground came up much faster than I realize and I stun myself with my fall

I stand up and realize that during that botched flip, my towel came off

and I'm rolling on the ground buck naked

and stand up in my birthday suit

I calmy snatch the towel and kinda walk off holding it next to me before putting it back on

I wonder if there was a family waiting to get in the gate during all of this

I personally would have love to see what this looked like from afar

whenever I get back upstairs I yell at everyone for leaving me down there

I borrow some big ass baggy clothes and make my way home

back at the station in present day my co-worker asks me,"really?" (in response to me recognizing the pool and telling her I think I've been there before)

Me:"yeah, there's a funny story about that..."