A Giant Stunner

So while at the track last night this memory came to me

I figure I should write it down:

Now, if you spend any quality time with me

you'll know I'm prone to lose my temper from time to time

I've been like this since I was a kid

most people just let it pass

it usually does after about 24 to 48 hours

but confusing me also seems to work

like the time I lost my temper at the tent party

Raul and Tyson both took off their shirts and began posing next to me like they were strippers

Raul then sat on my lap to further calm me down

then there was the time when I lived with Gentleman James

one night I went off crazy mad

to calm me down Gentleman began kissing me repeatedly

on the lips

I stopped in my tracks and calmly said,"Please stop kissing me."

I remember Gent's friend Paul was there as well as my fav roomie The Madnes

Paul said he looked at E while this was going on

he said, "your friend has a pretty good poker face, he had no expression."

I told him, "well, he did live with me for a few years, he's seen me put through all kinds of abuse."

and being kissed by a giant is abuse

now let me set the stage for this one

I believe it was Dec '08

I had a group over to my little efficiency

we were packed in that one room shack and somehow I lost my temper

so Gentleman comes up behind me and grabs my hands and starts to sing the song "Unchained Melody"

yes just like this:


except we were both standing

yet again the power of confusion worked

I stopped in my tracks and just let him do his thing

I thought "mmmmm this is nice."

it worked

but for only 8 minutes

because then I snapped out of it

I reached high above my head

I grabbed the back of his head

held his head over my shoulder

and fell down on my ass

yes folks

I gave him a Stone Cold Stunner



a giant stunner

now the funny thing is

he later told me that he humoured me by taking the stunner

but what he wasn't expecting was the spring-like effect his body would have

because he was bent over and was brought to a stop by the impact

the rebound made him bounce up and back

he lost his balance and actually fell backwards

he told me he thought to himself,"whoa, I'm actually going down!"

and that my friends is the story of why Steve Austin is a six time world champion