I hate the Superbowl
I fucking hate the Superbowl
and here are the reasons
it's like a forced party
even women celebrate the superbowl
it's like a christmas party
it's the one time of the year that some people drink on sunday (but not much)
people who don't throw hardcore parties will have a superbowl party
it's all a bunch of mild fun
anyone that does things mildly is my swore enemy
what I don't get is as a football fan you obviously have your favorite team
well it's the biggest game but only two teams play
so if your team is not in it you're watching a game with two teams you care nothing about
at this point you're just a fan of football
BORING!
the NFL doesn't even make the superbowl special
do you know who does
Dorritos, Pepsi, Taco Bell
it's like the NFL has an awesome pad and thier friends taco bell and Pepsi crashed it and took over the party
I love pro wrestling
and our "superbowl" of wrestling just keeps getting bigger and better every year
well I guess we can't all be titains of drinking or gods among men
ps. while I was in the gym
during the superbowl
someone had left it on the animal channel
they were showing a puppy bowl
just a bunch of puppies frolicking around a pen disguised as a football field
there were a bunch of toys in there too
this thing had announcers and instant replays
here's the best part
this was puppy bowl 5
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tuna and Sharpie
this one is going to be an ever growing blog
I'll update it throughout the year
Some of the conversations Sharpie and I have are just too priceless
enjoy:
-Sharpie was in town one afternoon and wanted to meet for lunch
he wanted somewhere that served beer as well as food
these are texts
Sharpie: Tuna where do you want to meet for lunch
Tuna: What about Wendy's its right next to my job
Sharpie: Tuna, there's no beer at Wendy's
Tuna: oh that's right you wanted beer, well what about Pluckers
Sharpie: Let's do it
what ended up happening was we drank giant beers, I called in for the rest of the day, Sharpie called in for a play he was directing, he lied that his mother was sick or dying, we were there long enough to have two waiters, we joined a trivia bowl, we took applications and interviewed people to join the family, and our lunch lasted about 8 hours
next thing I know we both wake up in my little house hung over and exhausted
and generally miserable
Sharpie: "Maybe we should have gone to Wendy's."
-SO the night that Sharpie headbutted a car he jumped on my back piggyback style
I lost my balance and fell right on my face
dropping Sharpie on his face too
resulting in both our faces having strawberries and cuts
when the street crowd saw this they gasped
the next day we woke up at my brother's pad and watched the recording of monday night raw
two female wrestlers made their entrance
One female wrestler jumped on her partners' back piggyback stlye and they ran down the ramp
Sharpie" Look Tuna, that's what we tried to do."
Sharpie " Man, they mean it when they say don't try this at home."
-One night Sharpie and I went to a bar in a out of the way place
when we got there the parking lot was full
there was only one spot that was open but there was a wooden post on the ground
I could have driven over it
so I gave it a gentle test run
but then I stopped
Sharpie: "You can't get over it?"
Tuna: "Well, I'm worried that there's a nail in it or something and with our luck we'll get a flat way the hell out here."
Sharpie:"Well, get down and check it for nails."
Tuna: "No, cause if I get down and check it for nails then I'd be a wanker."
Sharpie: "Well I'll get down and see if I can move it. I'll be a wanker."(Sharpie opens the door and starts to get out)
Tuna: "In that case while you're there check it for nails."
-One Sunday I was helping Sharpie move in San Marcos
we were at his new place and unloading my truck
since we were going up a couple of flights of stairs I wanted to take as much as I could in one trip up
so I had a rather large box in my hands and was going to put a smaller one on top of it
I was gonna set my large box down on the tailgate but Sharpie was in the way
so I was waiting for him to get his box and move out of the way
Sharpie looked at me and I guess to him it looked like I was standing there with a large box in
my arms and just staring at a smaller one in the truck
Sharpie: "What are you doing?"
Tuna:" I'm gonna put that box on top of this one."
Sharpie:"Using the force?"
-The second time I went to Pluckers was when I visited Sharpie in San Marcos again
I was coming back from Victoria and I had Sharpie's wallet with me from a previous adventure
on the phone Sharpie told me to take a particular exit
the exit led right to a Pluckers
I texted him back and said" I see where this is going
next thing I know we wake up in his car at a construction site
a worker knocked on the window and told us we were blocking the 18 wheelers
Sharpie started the car and I got into the front seat (I had climbed in the back in the middle of the night I guess)
the worker who woke us up said," long night?"
Sharpie said, "yeah"
and we took off
- One other time I had to babysit my nephew in Kyle
that's about 40 minutes south of Austin and 15 minutes to San Marcos
so I call Sharpie and tell him I'll be in the area that night
so after I get off at 11 that night I stop off in San Marcos on my way to Kyle
since I was going to be a little late my sister is gonna leave me the key
I met up with Sharpie at a local bar
he orders us a couple of V-bulls
I hadn't had those in a while
the usual happens and I don't get to my sisters till about 3 am
my nephew wakes me up at 7am so there you go
it is never easy for me
while we were at the bar Sharpie saw a friend of his, B Sims
Sharpie says to me, " Tuna I'm gonna say hi to my friend B Sims."
I say, " Hey I'll go with you, I like B Sims"
so we head off and I go and give B Sims the biggest hug I've ever given anyone in my life
a few days later Sharpie and I are talking about how hard I hugged his friend
Sharpie said, " Damn Tuna, you hugged B Sims like you were hugging Grimmace at McDonalds
-Last story guys because now I live with Sharpie it's gonna be too hard to keep up with all the shit we do
So on our first night as roommates
Sharpie and I decided that we would do some laundry
we both had about two loads to do
the laundromat is right down the road from where we live
next to it is a bar called Lala's
its a Christmas themed bar
I had told this to Sharpie and he had a friend who said that bar is really cool
so he wanted to check it out while we did our laundry
we get in there and its just four old barflies sitting at the bar
Sharpie says "It must be ladies night"
so we drink a couple of pitchers
that goes on pretty smooth
then before long the bar starts getting busy
we then notice a string of elves hanging from the ceiling that moves up and down every once in a while
Sharpie and I wonder why that happens
I tell Sharpie I bet it's the men's room door that does that
so I get up and say," I'll go check."
I get to the men's room and see that the string is connected to the door and whenever it's opened the little elves bob up and down
I stay right there and look over at Sharpie and yell clear across the bar, "YEAH IT'S THE MENS ROOM DOOR THAT DOES THAT!"
everyone stops and stares at me
Sharpie cracks up because something like that happens on a tv show that he likes
we leave and go check on our clothes
on the way out I tell our waitress to save our seats
when we come back our seats are taken
I yell at our waitress, "you had ONE job!"
so something interesting happens
at first it's just older people in the bar
but then a bunch of young people come in
I wave at a young lady that came in the bar alone
she comes over to me and says "do I know you?"
I say "no."
I follow up with, "do you want to?"
that's a classic V line
she orders a drink and comes back over to us
she's waiting on her friends
so she joins me and Sharpie while she waits
after a while her friends show up and Sharpie and I join them
it's good times
we're all cracking wise and yucking it up
in the meantime the Laundromat closed on me and Sharpie
so I go check on the clothes and sure enough it's all dark and closed
so I'm drunk and my clothes are locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night
I then notice that someone had put a newspaper on the top of the door to keep it from locking
so I try the door and it opens
I go in and then the door shuts behind me locking
so now I'm locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night
but I found a door that opens
I prop the door open with a trash can and then leave to go get Sharpie
he comes with and we load two rolling baskets with our clothes and wheel them out to the car
the crowd we were with is outside smoking and laughing
i can imagine what that scene looked like
after a long while and too many pitchers later we call it a night
I'm supposed to be at work at 4 am and it's now 2:30 in the morning
I'm 45 minutes late for work
the next day I sleep as soon as I get off at noon
doing laundry sure is tough
I'll update it throughout the year
Some of the conversations Sharpie and I have are just too priceless
enjoy:
-Sharpie was in town one afternoon and wanted to meet for lunch
he wanted somewhere that served beer as well as food
these are texts
Sharpie: Tuna where do you want to meet for lunch
Tuna: What about Wendy's its right next to my job
Sharpie: Tuna, there's no beer at Wendy's
Tuna: oh that's right you wanted beer, well what about Pluckers
Sharpie: Let's do it
what ended up happening was we drank giant beers, I called in for the rest of the day, Sharpie called in for a play he was directing, he lied that his mother was sick or dying, we were there long enough to have two waiters, we joined a trivia bowl, we took applications and interviewed people to join the family, and our lunch lasted about 8 hours
next thing I know we both wake up in my little house hung over and exhausted
and generally miserable
Sharpie: "Maybe we should have gone to Wendy's."
-SO the night that Sharpie headbutted a car he jumped on my back piggyback style
I lost my balance and fell right on my face
dropping Sharpie on his face too
resulting in both our faces having strawberries and cuts
when the street crowd saw this they gasped
the next day we woke up at my brother's pad and watched the recording of monday night raw
two female wrestlers made their entrance
One female wrestler jumped on her partners' back piggyback stlye and they ran down the ramp
Sharpie" Look Tuna, that's what we tried to do."
Sharpie " Man, they mean it when they say don't try this at home."
-One night Sharpie and I went to a bar in a out of the way place
when we got there the parking lot was full
there was only one spot that was open but there was a wooden post on the ground
I could have driven over it
so I gave it a gentle test run
but then I stopped
Sharpie: "You can't get over it?"
Tuna: "Well, I'm worried that there's a nail in it or something and with our luck we'll get a flat way the hell out here."
Sharpie:"Well, get down and check it for nails."
Tuna: "No, cause if I get down and check it for nails then I'd be a wanker."
Sharpie: "Well I'll get down and see if I can move it. I'll be a wanker."(Sharpie opens the door and starts to get out)
Tuna: "In that case while you're there check it for nails."
-One Sunday I was helping Sharpie move in San Marcos
we were at his new place and unloading my truck
since we were going up a couple of flights of stairs I wanted to take as much as I could in one trip up
so I had a rather large box in my hands and was going to put a smaller one on top of it
I was gonna set my large box down on the tailgate but Sharpie was in the way
so I was waiting for him to get his box and move out of the way
Sharpie looked at me and I guess to him it looked like I was standing there with a large box in
my arms and just staring at a smaller one in the truck
Sharpie: "What are you doing?"
Tuna:" I'm gonna put that box on top of this one."
Sharpie:"Using the force?"
-The second time I went to Pluckers was when I visited Sharpie in San Marcos again
I was coming back from Victoria and I had Sharpie's wallet with me from a previous adventure
on the phone Sharpie told me to take a particular exit
the exit led right to a Pluckers
I texted him back and said" I see where this is going
next thing I know we wake up in his car at a construction site
a worker knocked on the window and told us we were blocking the 18 wheelers
Sharpie started the car and I got into the front seat (I had climbed in the back in the middle of the night I guess)
the worker who woke us up said," long night?"
Sharpie said, "yeah"
and we took off
- One other time I had to babysit my nephew in Kyle
that's about 40 minutes south of Austin and 15 minutes to San Marcos
so I call Sharpie and tell him I'll be in the area that night
so after I get off at 11 that night I stop off in San Marcos on my way to Kyle
since I was going to be a little late my sister is gonna leave me the key
I met up with Sharpie at a local bar
he orders us a couple of V-bulls
I hadn't had those in a while
the usual happens and I don't get to my sisters till about 3 am
my nephew wakes me up at 7am so there you go
it is never easy for me
while we were at the bar Sharpie saw a friend of his, B Sims
Sharpie says to me, " Tuna I'm gonna say hi to my friend B Sims."
I say, " Hey I'll go with you, I like B Sims"
so we head off and I go and give B Sims the biggest hug I've ever given anyone in my life
a few days later Sharpie and I are talking about how hard I hugged his friend
Sharpie said, " Damn Tuna, you hugged B Sims like you were hugging Grimmace at McDonalds
-Last story guys because now I live with Sharpie it's gonna be too hard to keep up with all the shit we do
So on our first night as roommates
Sharpie and I decided that we would do some laundry
we both had about two loads to do
the laundromat is right down the road from where we live
next to it is a bar called Lala's
its a Christmas themed bar
I had told this to Sharpie and he had a friend who said that bar is really cool
so he wanted to check it out while we did our laundry
we get in there and its just four old barflies sitting at the bar
Sharpie says "It must be ladies night"
so we drink a couple of pitchers
that goes on pretty smooth
then before long the bar starts getting busy
we then notice a string of elves hanging from the ceiling that moves up and down every once in a while
Sharpie and I wonder why that happens
I tell Sharpie I bet it's the men's room door that does that
so I get up and say," I'll go check."
I get to the men's room and see that the string is connected to the door and whenever it's opened the little elves bob up and down
I stay right there and look over at Sharpie and yell clear across the bar, "YEAH IT'S THE MENS ROOM DOOR THAT DOES THAT!"
everyone stops and stares at me
Sharpie cracks up because something like that happens on a tv show that he likes
we leave and go check on our clothes
on the way out I tell our waitress to save our seats
when we come back our seats are taken
I yell at our waitress, "you had ONE job!"
so something interesting happens
at first it's just older people in the bar
but then a bunch of young people come in
I wave at a young lady that came in the bar alone
she comes over to me and says "do I know you?"
I say "no."
I follow up with, "do you want to?"
that's a classic V line
she orders a drink and comes back over to us
she's waiting on her friends
so she joins me and Sharpie while she waits
after a while her friends show up and Sharpie and I join them
it's good times
we're all cracking wise and yucking it up
in the meantime the Laundromat closed on me and Sharpie
so I go check on the clothes and sure enough it's all dark and closed
so I'm drunk and my clothes are locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night
I then notice that someone had put a newspaper on the top of the door to keep it from locking
so I try the door and it opens
I go in and then the door shuts behind me locking
so now I'm locked up like the Big V on the Hall of Fame night
but I found a door that opens
I prop the door open with a trash can and then leave to go get Sharpie
he comes with and we load two rolling baskets with our clothes and wheel them out to the car
the crowd we were with is outside smoking and laughing
i can imagine what that scene looked like
after a long while and too many pitchers later we call it a night
I'm supposed to be at work at 4 am and it's now 2:30 in the morning
I'm 45 minutes late for work
the next day I sleep as soon as I get off at noon
doing laundry sure is tough
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