You're Standing Before Two Different Doors...

So Carrie is out of the Army

her four years came and went

Her Husband Tyler is out as well this month

Carrie's baby, my Goddaughter is about three months old

right now they live in Kileen Tx

and they are a quaint nice family with quite time for the baby

Now picture a blues bar deep on the east side of Austin TX

that's the bad part of town

but this place is jumping with the blues

the bar is called TC's and they have live blues every monday night

it's one of the few places I've seen where the dance floor is packed more than the bar side of the place

I got invited by none other than Mer one night

so let me explain this bar

it's old,dark,dirty,scary and fun as hell

when I first went I was hella early

the owners were all old black people

I felt like I was the only one at a wedding reception while everyone was still at the church

the killer is they let you bring your own bottle

they sell the cokes for about a buck

if everyone pitches in you can buy a decent size bottle and drink for about a dollar

it doesn't hurt that I'm heavy into this particular brand of rum called Sailor Jerry's

I bought and killed three of these bottles in one week

also the people that own the bar cook and serve it for free

the clientele for this bar are young white college kids

it's funny, all these white kids jumping and bopping to the blues

the first night there I was dancing with Mer

when I went to go sit down I heard someone shout my name

when I looked to see who it was it was Kurt Johnston

he was the weekend weather guy

it was him on weather, super duper as the anchor and Daniel Holdege on sports

so he joined us and we had one hell of a night

that led me buying and killing four bottles of Sailor Jerry's

so here's the problem

I'm getting a little worried about the rate at these bottles get bought and killed

I try to tell myself that I've slowed down, which I have

I really really have slowed down a great deal

the thing is that that monster is still inside and can still come out

even now

it's not hard at all for me to still out drink, out play, and out last all these suckas around me

even in this slowed down period

I love going to this blues bar but I've made arrangements for me to drive to Kileen on Mondays and watch Monday NIght Raw with the Bogart family

I reckon it's about time to get back into wrestling since Mania season is around the corner

and I want to get to know my GodDaughter

you know develop a bond with her

and this is better for me

but I'm not done with this blues bar

I'll be back

with that said I've got a great story about the time I took my brother Erick and Beautiful Bobby:

when we get there the place is packed

so we park on the street

while crossing, a car comes veering around a corner and actually speeds up when he sees us in the middle of the street

we all run like hell and the car even swerves it seems to try to hit us

Erick drops his keys in the road and actually stops to grab them

we're all yelling as he grabs them and the car speeds past

turns out they were cops

we get inside and the place is jumping

I see Kurt and I say hello

Kurt is wasted and slurring

while talking to me he hits my cup and spills a full drink all over the floor

my crew sees this and give me hell all night about spilling my drink

I keep telling them I didn't and that it was Kurt over and over again

so we finally get a table and while talking I hit my glass and spill a full drink on me

"Ok,that one was my fault this time."

we sit next to a nice black lady named Claire

she tells us how much she loves this place

during last call a black man clearing the table asks me for a shot from my bottle

I give him one

he continues on but before he walks away he turns to me and says, "that's alright! Say man what is that?"

I tell him, "Sailor Jerry's. Yeah it's good, I should know, I'm wearing it."

on the way out I see more people that I know

then Erick tells us he lost his keys

I tell whoever i'm talking to goodbye because we're on the bad side of town late at night, drunk and stranded now

I tell here this is gonna be a long night

so now we're where the cops almost ran us over looking for the keys

there's all kinds of drug dealers and bums looking too

so now it's a race find the keys before the bums do

just then that nice lady Claire comes over to us and asks us what we were looking for

we tell her the keys and she pulls them out of her pocket

so we just assume she pick pocketed erick somehow

when we're leaving some guy asks if we want to buy some hydro

rube and erick bite

me and Bobby are in the car now talking about this night's highlights

and I point out that at this point of the story we're in the middle of a drug deal

so Rube opens the door and asks me if I have any money

I tell him 20 dollars

he asks the guy what does he have for 20 dollars

the dude says, "I'll give ya something for 20 dollars"

so he hands them a little baggie and we drive off

Erick opens it and says," man, it's grass."

and I say,"you mean it's not hydro?"

he says" no, it's grass like you mow your grass, grass."

they gave this guy 20 of my monies for fucking actual grass

well the guy did say "I'll give ya something for 20 dollars"

The Ballad of Cash Money

So two months ago my roommate comes up to me and asks "What would you say if I told you I want to get a dog?"

I told him to go for it

I really had no reason to deny him that dog

plus I'm thinking of getting a dog when I move out of Texas

the next day he comes home with a dog, Cash

he's a mix of German Shepard and Lab

awesome dog

he got it from the Petsmart that's in the shopping center that he works at

I did my part and walked the dog when Sharpie was at work or just wasn't home

I didn't want an accident in the house

I ended up spending a lot of time with Cash at the house when my roommate was out

My roommate asked how I liked having a dog

I told him I changed my mind about owning a dog

I didn't want one anymore

they rely on people too much

but the night of the Acl festival Cash kept me company while everyone was out

we both sat on the porch and I put some speakers outside and drank beer

Cash never tried to run off

Cash had a little peeing problem whenever he would get excited

it started to upset Sharpie and Sharpie got tired of it

he told me he was thinking about taking Cash back

I was a little disappointed to hear that cause I was getting attached to Cash

but it never happened

I go on a lot of hikes and at these spots there are dogs all around

so I started taking Cash with me

he would ride in the back of Smokey

he loved it

I would say, "Cash you wanna go play?"

Cash would jump off the couch and start to do a little dance by the door and make a little yelping noise and get crazy excited

these were off the leash parks and Cash loved them

he would run around like a race dog

most of them were trails in the woods with creeks and plenty of shallow swimming holes

Cash played so well with all the other dogs and I would get complements how cool he was

there was one spot that I was training him to swim

he was doing pretty good

there was this one dog park that had a long cement wall that you could sit on while you watch your dog play

Cash would play with the dogs but occasionally would come over and sit next to me

I would put my arm around him while we both sat there and watch the dogs

when it was time to leave he would look for Smokey

one time he jumped on the back of someone's car then jumped into the bed of Smokey

Cash started to sleep with me every night

he was getting attached

it got to the point that he would only sleep with me

I thought Sharpie was ok with the fact that Cash liked me

Sharpie said one night, "Tuna, I don't know what Cash is gonna do when you leave."

So Cash has gotten out more than once but the cool thing is he came back on his own

except one time

he was gone overnight

Sharpie placed a call to a service that finds lost dogs

they found him

Cash was back

but he had a cough

and it wasn't going away

so Sharpie said he was taking Cash to the vet

but in two days Cash was no where to be found

and I missed my buddy Cash

I had a gut feeling that Sharpie took him back where he got him from

but in the two days Sharpie said nothing

so Saturday morning I woke up and went over to the Petsmart where Sharpie got him

with the intention of adopting Cash and back

I saw the little playpens that they put the dogs in but I didn't see Cash

I went up to talk to the lady and told her my situation

she said that Sharpie did bring Cash back and that he was at another Petsmart but she didn't know which one

she gave me a card that had a website that will tell me which store Cash was at

so I drove to the TV station to use one of their computers

I found him at a store up north

when I got there I saw Cash but he was out of the kennel and was on a leash with a couple of guys holding the leash

so I got out of the truck and watched from a distance

I saw the lady filling out some paper work

so I'm thinking well he got adopted and I was too late

then I see them give her Cash back and she puts him back in the playpen

the two dudes drive off

so maybe they changed their minds

So I went over there to ask the lady

Cash saw me and stood up and started wagging his tale and doing that little excited dance and started yelping

I went over to pet him and he was very happy to see me

but he was looking at me like, c'mon let's go, get me out of here, lets
go play!

I went over to the lady and asked if those people adopted that dog

she said they sure did, they left to get the money

she said there were plenty of dogs left she would love to show me

I told her my story

she was sad to hear it

then I told her that I was gonna go over and say goodbye to Cash

that was really hard to do

I went back over to him he was even more excited

I knelt down and talked to him

he was licking my hand while I said goodbye

I stood up and walked away

I gave her my number in case the deal fell through but she said those people loved that dog

I'm sure that Sharpie has his reasons for giving up the dog and I'm sure it wasn't easy for Sharpie either

I'm not mad but I am surprised how attached I got to that dog

it caught me off guard and it actually hurt

He wasn't my dog

But Cash taught me how to own a dog

thank you Cash Money

The Clusterfuck

So this happend the Friday of the Acl fest in Austin TX

I knew that Raul, Kate, Tyson, Raul's brother and the brother's wife were all going to the festival

Sharpie and I did not get tickets

The headliners for that friday show were The Kings of Leon

so I knew all of these people were coming up to see the show so I organized a plan B for myself

I got in touch with my brother Rube a few days before the event

I asked if he was going to the show and he said no

So I said," let's hang out friday since everyone is going but you and me."

he agreed

now fast forward to friday

I get a text from raul that reads, "Katie (his brother's wife) is sick and can't go so my brother is out too/now I have two extra tickets you wanna go?"

so I replied "well I made plans with Rube and I don't want to cancel/let me see if he wants to go with"

Raul replies "ok let me know"

so I call Rube and give him the news

so Rube tells me to hold those tickets and he'll let me know

he wants to see if he can get an extra ticket for his friend eric so we can all go

so he calls me back and asks if the tickets are still a go

I ask Raul and he says yes

so I tell Rube

so Rube buys an extra ticket for his friend

then I call Raul and to tell him me and Rube are both in

NOW raul tells me he also sent the invite to Sharpie

I did not know this

so now three people want to go and there are only two tickets

so I tell Raul that Rube bought an extra ticket so the right thing to do is give Rube my ticket and Raul will take Sharpie and Rube

Raul doesn't care

So Kate calls me and asks whats going on

I give her the update

she spent the night at our house the day before and said she talked to Sharpie and said sharpie was feeling sick and will not be able to go to the concert and that I was going

so I call Sharpie to see what the deal is

he has no idea what Kate is talking about and he still wants to go

so now I'm getting pretty pissed and I'm done with all of this

Sharpie then tells me to go

by this time I'm so worked up that I won't be able to enjoy the show so I tell him to go

I go home and pick up Rube's ticket

I drop it off at Rube's job and he thinks I'm still going

I tell him that I'm going early and that I'll meet up with him later

I didn't want him to know that I'm not going because he wouldn't take the ticket

so finally everyone is gone and I have the house to myself

Rube eventually finds out I'm not at the show and is pretty shocked

now everyone is wondering if I'll be home when they're done with the show

Raul I understand tells them you never know with me

I'll either be there or I won't

I was drinking at my house and enjoying my own company

I get a call from a very drunk raul

he didn't even stay long enough to see the Kings

he left cause he wanted to go to a bar

and he left everyone there

that pissed me off

then around midnight everyone is calling

for a while I was waiting for all of them to come home

but they were all so drunk that I couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone when they were coming home

and they would not stop calling

I was done with this day

by one in the morning I went to my room and locked my door

I heard them come in but by this time I could care less who lived or died

within 30 minutes all was quite

so I left my room and went around the house

they were all laid out asleep

it looked like there was a gas leak in the house and it claimed 4 lives that night

I laughed and went back to my room

in the morning they all came into my room

I asked how the show went

they said it was cool but they wished I was there

I told them don't worry

I've already seen the kings and I had a great time

and I got to go with my favorite person in the world

they all kinda got quite

I love doing that to them