Story Time!!

Ok this happened about three weeks ago

I was helping my friend, Kate the Great move


we had to go get furniture out of her storage unit

it was also the weekend of the company Christmas party

so, before Kate moved all of her furniture to her new apartment

she wanted to take it over to her parent's house first

she wanted to use the furniture outside since she was hosting the after party

after all that she was gonna move some of it to her apartment

the rest, she was gonna throw or give away

her dad asked what all she was going to give away

she mentioned this one particular old couch

her dad wanted to burn the couch at the end of the night

right there in the driveway

I was all for it

Kate, not so much

anyway, we get my truck loaded up and proceed to leave the storage unit place

as I'm putting the code in to open the gate, I notice that the second number kinda sticks whenever it's pressed in

the gate won't open

Kate has a tiny freak out

she says' "Oh no, it's happening."

I ask her" what's happening?"

she goes on to tell me she has a minor fear about being locked inside her storage unit place

I sort of laugh it off and try the code again

it opens this time

and we head off

we come back and the same scene plays out as before

only this time the gate is not opening at all

we've tried the code about 20 times this time

in the time that we've tried the code

the storage unit place has closed for business

we are officially locked in now

Kate is giggling hysterically now

she jumps out of the truck and says, "desperate times", as she eyeballs the gate

she's gonna climb it

it's lined at the top with barbwire

I hurry up and get out too

I shout to Kate, "Hold on Kate!"

I'm not about to let Kate climb the fence and get cut up with rusty barb wire

I tell her I'll go over the fence

we trade places and I make it over

I try the code on my end

still nothing

we tried calling the office but we just get an answer machine

we're also behind a convenience store and I notice what looks like the flashing lights of a cop car

I tell Kate, who's standing behind a chain link fence with barbwire on top, that I see a cop and I'm gonna go talk to him

Kate yells back to me, "Ok but don't leave me Tuna!"

I tell her I won't

as I turn the corner and look for the cop, I notice he's in his squad car and he's parked behind the guy he pulled over

I wait for him by the store

it's taking some time

so I go back and check on Kate

She's on the phone and she's smoking

and it looks like she's in prison

that made me smile

so I go back and the cop is still in his car

so I pop a squat at the front of the store

then, I notice the store clerk comes out for a smoke break

I pay no mind to her, but then I hear her say, "is that Vinnie?"

I look over and notice it's an old friend of ours from work, Krystal King

I say, "oh hey"

she asks, "what the hell are you doing there just sitting."

I tell her, "Loitering...in front of a cop."

then I tell her the situation

she tells me that happens all the time

she says the cop will help us get out

she then goes around the building to go see KAte

after they talk they hug through the fence

Krystal says"conjugal visit hug!"

then she goes back to work

she laughs at me and says, "fucking Vinnie"

I've always said one of the best thing about me is you never know where you'll find me

anyway, we get thecop to come over to help us out

he calls the owner of the unit

now we're waiting

so we make small talk

we tell him that Kate looks like she's in a prison yard

Kate asks him to take a picture with him standing next to her like a guard

he asks, "with my gun?"

and proceeds to unholster his gun and poses with it

we both say "yeah!"

then the cop says, "no."

to which I respond, "cause you know that shit will be on facebook like that(snaps my finger)

he laughs and agrees

"We'll blur your face" says Kate

"But we'll tag you with full name and rank" says me

is that proper English?

says me

it's says I

no, no I looked it up real quick

it's says me

anyway, we follow that convo up with Kate asking the cop, "How big of a fire can we have in the city?"

the cop stammers a bit and asks, "How big are you thinking about?"

Kate asks, "Can we burn a sofa?"

the cop laughs and says, "no, you cannot burn a couch in the city limits."

I add, "we're having a Christmas party."

the cop just stares at us

he then realizes that I'm on the outside with him and not trapped like KAte

he asks me,"did you climb the fence."

I tell him yes with no hesitation

he take out pen and paper and asks for my name and D.O.B.

I reluctantly give it to him

he tells me it's for his report

he goes back to car

of course he runs my name

but I'm clean baby


anyway, the owners show up and the cop takes off

KAte gets freed

and as we drive off

I tell Kate," if that cop hears a call about someone burning a couch, he's gonna know it's us."

Kate says, "and he has your name."

so we get back to Kate's folk's house and tell her dad what happend

and she tells him it's illegal to burn a sofa in the city

he yells, "No shit KAte, that's not a big fucking newsflash!" "I knew it was illegal, I just wanted to do it." "Well, maybe we can burn something smaller."

I say, "yeah, we'll stay one step ahead of them."

anyway, back at the station everyone heard my name on the scanner

it's my day off and Vincent's name was called on the scanner

"I don't invite this shit, it just comes to me." - Carlito Brigante