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Sunday, November 7, 2010

IV-Booze, Drugs, Cops, oh and MGMT

I've been especially meaning to tell this story for the longest time

and I won't mention any names again to prevent incrimination

so yesterday I get a text asking if I want to go to the FUN FUN FUN FEst

I just got off of work and have not slept yet from my previous night with Paulie the Bull in Austin

so times are tight and arrangements are made for me to take a flask into this music fest

it's full of my favorite rum

I sneak it in and now we're drinking rum

then Heineken

and now we're smoking pot

and more Heineken

now shrooms

and then MGMT takes the stage


we had a nice view

hands down the coolest sight was

seeing a helicopter land during the performance

then I realized that it was landing at the hospital behind the stage

so someone was dying

to see MGMT ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha ha ha ah aha ha ah a

no seriously though they were dying

anyway we were there all afternoon til the early evening

then it was over

the company I was with wanted to go out afterwards but wanted to go home to change

I was talked in to going with despite my initial protest

while at the house I was handed a second flask

larger than the first one I was carrying

I put it in another pocket on me

later, now that they were changed, we hit the road

they're smoking a blunt in the car

we're waiting to turn right onto 35 and yeilding when WHAM!!!!

we're rear ended

actually after the impact I say "...and we just got rear ended."

then the guy swerves around us and hauls ass

the driver of the car I'm in hauls ass after him

the passenger is yelling at him to stop driving so crazy

we're swerving through traffic to match the hit and runner

the guy cuts a car off and exits the highway

I calmly reach over and fasten my seat belt

they ask me if I can see the license plate

without trying to see I say no as I click the safety belt in

we exit and are still hauling ass to catch the guy

after a little bit of a chase we catch him and he gives up

but this cat has no license,insurance, or clue

so they call the cops

now just a few days ago while on the phone with the folks I had a conversation that went like this:

Me:Hi mom how's it going?
Mom: Good, we're good. YOu got a warrant for your arrest in the mail.
Me: Really, where's this one from?
Mom: San MArcos
Me: oh cool, how are my cats?
Mom: Good, they're spoiled

we go on with conversation

now back to the accident

we call the cops

and they show up

they fill out a report and I'm told I became one with the back seat

I said I used the ancient art of one John Cena's "U can't See ME"


I can imagine if they asked me to step out of the car

and asked if I have any drugs on me

I would have to say "No, but I have a couple of flasks."
"this one's empty but this one's ret to go!"

but they never saw me

Thanks Cena!


when handing the report back to the driver one of the three cops says," here you go just mail this in within 10 days...........let me ask you a question.......when was the last time you smoked pot."

"ahhhhhh fock!!!!!!!"

that's my thought

the cop goes on to say, "I can smell it, I don't mind if you do it just do it at home and don't drive. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt...I'll give you a freebee, go home boys and stay out of trouble."

we take off on this free pass

this whole process takes about an hour

we go home

only to switch cars

in case they're tailing us

then we head back out to start our night

at this time it turned midnight

on the night you set your clocks back an hour

so a free pass, a new car, and we got back the hour we lost?

for the first time ever I felt what it's like to die in a video game

then press continue

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